Transitioning a loved one to memory care involves more than choosing a community and scheduling a moving day. Families may need to prepare their loved one for a new environment, communicate in ways that account for changes in memory and understanding, share important routines and preferences with the care team, and provide support as the person adjusts.
If you are still deciding whether a change in care is appropriate, start by learning when it may be time to move from assisted living to memory care. Once that decision has largely been made, the focus can shift from deciding whether to move to preparing for how the transition will happen.
Key Takeaway: A memory care transition is a process, not just a moving day. Thoughtful preparation, familiar routines, clear communication, and coordination with the care team can help families approach each stage of the move with greater clarity.
Prepare for the Transition Before Moving Day
Preparation can begin before boxes are packed. One of the most useful steps is helping the memory care team understand the person they will be supporting.
Consider gathering information about your loved one’s daily routines, preferences, interests, communication style, personal history, and the situations that tend to make them comfortable or distressed. Families should also make sure the community has the health and care information it requests before the move.
The National Institute on Aging recommends getting to know the staff before a person with Alzheimer’s moves into long-term care and discussing ways to make the transition smoother. It also emphasizes advocating for the person’s needs and preferences.
As you prepare:
- Ask the community what information and belongings should be provided before moving day.
- Write down important routines, preferences, and interests.
- Identify familiar possessions that may help personalize the new space.
- Determine who will accompany your loved one during the move.
- Coordinate the timing and logistics with the community in advance.
If possible, involve your loved one in appropriate decisions based on what they can comfortably understand and manage.
Talk About the Move in a Way Your Loved One Can Understand
Dementia can affect memory, reasoning, language, and a person’s ability to process complex information. The way a family discusses a move may therefore need to change according to the person’s cognitive abilities.
Keep explanations clear and manageable. Give your loved one time to respond, listen to concerns, and avoid overwhelming them with too much information at once.
The National Institute on Aging’s communication guidance recommends making eye contact, using the person’s name, allowing additional time for responses, rephrasing information when necessary, and avoiding arguments.
This can be especially important during a major change such as moving to memory care.
Instead of trying to win a disagreement, focus on understanding what may be causing concern. A calm tone, simple explanations, reassurance, and patience may be more productive than repeatedly explaining why the move is necessary.
What If Your Loved One Resists Moving to Memory Care?
Resistance can make a memory care transition particularly difficult for families.
A person living with dementia may not understand why a move is happening or may experience the situation differently from family members. Repeatedly correcting or confronting the person may increase frustration rather than resolve the concern.
The National Institute on Aging specifically advises caregivers not to argue with a person with Alzheimer’s about why they need to be in a long-term care setting. Instead, families can listen to concerns, offer reassurance, and work with the care team on approaches appropriate for the individual.
When your loved one becomes upset:
- Listen for the concern behind what they are saying.
- Respond calmly rather than escalating an argument.
- Keep explanations simple.
- Offer reassurance without making promises you cannot keep.
- Redirect the conversation when repeated discussion of the move is causing distress.
- Ask the care team or an appropriate healthcare professional for guidance when resistance is persistent or difficult to manage.
There is no single communication strategy that works for every person with dementia. The approach should reflect the person’s cognitive abilities, communication patterns, history, and current needs.
Make the New Space Feel Familiar
Moving into an unfamiliar environment can be a significant change for someone living with dementia. Thoughtfully chosen belongings can help make the new space more recognizable and personal.
Depending on what the community permits, consider bringing items such as:
- Family photographs
- Favorite artwork
- Familiar bedding or a blanket
- Meaningful keepsakes
- A familiar chair or small piece of furniture
- Favorite books
- Religious or spiritual items
- Other recognizable possessions that are important to the person
Choose items because they are meaningful to your loved one, not simply because they are decorative.
Familiarity can extend beyond physical belongings. Established routines, favorite music, preferred foods, hobbies, and familiar ways of interacting with others can all give the care team useful information about the person behind the diagnosis.
Share Routines and Personal Preferences With the Care Team
Family members often know details about a loved one’s routines that may not appear in a medical or care record.
Sharing this information can give the memory care team a fuller picture of the person’s everyday life.
Consider providing information about:
- Preferred name and how the person likes to be addressed
- Typical waking and sleeping routines
- Favorite foods and drinks
- Hobbies and past interests
- Music they enjoy
- Important family members and relationships
- Religious or spiritual practices
- Communication preferences
- Activities they enjoy or dislike
- Situations that tend to cause distress
- Familiar approaches that help provide reassurance
This information can be particularly valuable when dementia makes it difficult for the person to explain their own preferences.
The National Institute on Aging similarly recommends providing care professionals with information about a person’s normal routine, likes and dislikes, behaviors, potential triggers, and approaches to reduce distress.
Plan for Moving Day
Even with careful preparation, moving day can be demanding. The goal is not to make the day perfect. It is to reduce avoidable confusion and make the transition as organized as reasonably possible.
Before the move, confirm the plan with the memory care community. Know when you should arrive, which belongings should already be in place, what paperwork remains to be completed, and who from the community will help welcome your loved one.
Try to avoid adding unnecessary tasks or last-minute decisions to the day.
If your loved one has a time of day when they are generally more comfortable or alert, ask the community whether that can be taken into account when planning the move.
Most importantly, remember that the family’s emotional experience and the resident’s experience may be different. Stay attentive to your loved one’s reactions rather than expecting the day to unfold according to a rigid plan.
Help Your Loved One Adjust After the Move
Adjustment does not necessarily end when moving day is over.
A new room, different people, unfamiliar routines, and changes in surroundings may require time to become familiar. Avoid deciding whether the transition is succeeding or failing based on one difficult day.
Stay in communication with the care team and ask what they are observing. Family members can provide valuable context about behaviors, preferences, and routines, while staff can share what they observe in the new environment.
Continue to maintain an appropriate connection with your loved one. Visits, conversations, familiar activities, photographs, music, or other meaningful forms of connection may remain important after the move.
There is no universal amount of time that every person needs to adjust to memory care. Dementia affects people differently, and adjustment varies with the individual, their needs, the environment, and other circumstances.
Stay Connected With the Memory Care Team
The relationship between the family and the care team remains important after the move.
Families can continue to share observations and ask questions about changes they notice. If something seems different from the person’s usual behavior or functioning, communicate that information rather than assuming every change is simply part of dementia.
Regular communication also gives families an opportunity to understand how routines are developing and whether the care team needs additional information about the person’s history or preferences.
Think of the transition as an ongoing exchange of information. Families bring years of knowledge about the person, while the care team develops day-to-day observations within the new setting.
Memory Care at Lavender Springs
For families exploring Memory Care at Lavender Springs, understanding the available support can be part of preparing for a transition.
Lavender Springs provides 24-hour personal care and supervision, medication assistance, and help with personal care needs, including bathing, dressing, grooming, hygiene, and transfers. Residents also have three meals a day with a choice of menu, personal laundry, and daily housekeeping.
Families who are still evaluating needs can also use the Lifestyle Assessment as a starting point for considering appropriate support.
When comparing practical options for a future move, Floor Plans & Pricing can provide additional information before taking the next step.
Take the Next Step
Moving a loved one to memory care can involve many decisions, but families do not have to solve every part of the transition at once.
Start with what matters most: understanding your loved one’s routines and preferences, communicating in ways they can manage, coordinating with the care team, preparing familiar belongings, and developing a clear plan for moving day and the weeks that follow.
If you are considering memory care for a loved one, schedule a tour of Lavender Springs to learn more about the community and discuss your family’s needs.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do You Transition a Loved One to Memory Care?
Begin by coordinating with the memory care community, gathering important care information, documenting routines and preferences, choosing familiar belongings for the new space, and planning moving-day logistics. After the move, continue to communicate with the care team and share information that can help them understand your loved one’s preferences and usual routines.
How Do You Tell Someone With Dementia They Are Moving to Memory Care?
Adapt the conversation to what the person can understand. Use clear language, a calm tone, and manageable amounts of information. Listen to concerns and allow time for responses. Avoid turning the conversation into an argument about whether the person needs care. If communication becomes especially difficult, ask the care team or an appropriate healthcare professional for guidance specific to your loved one’s situation.
What Should You Bring When Moving Someone Into Memory Care?
Ask the community what is permitted and what it recommends. Familiar photographs, meaningful keepsakes, favorite books, bedding, artwork, religious or spiritual items, and other recognizable possessions may help personalize the new room. Families should also provide information about routines, preferences, interests, and communication needs.
How Long Does It Take to Adjust to Memory Care?
There is no standard adjustment period that applies to everyone. Dementia affects each person differently, and responses to a new environment can vary. Stay in contact with the care team, look at patterns over time rather than a single difficult day, and discuss significant concerns or unexpected changes with appropriate care or healthcare professionals.
What If My Loved One Refuses to Move to Memory Care?
Try to understand what is causing the resistance rather than repeatedly arguing about the need to move. Keep communication calm and simple, listen to concerns, and offer reassurance. Because resistance can have different causes and every person’s cognitive abilities and circumstances vary, families facing persistent or serious difficulties should work with the memory care team and appropriate healthcare professionals to develop an individualized approach.
